Stage One: Ummm.... cool stuff. Now what?!

 I was bound and determined to teach myself to sew, so my first stop was Amazon to scour reviews for an easy and fun book for beginners.  I ended up with a wide array of books:  S.E.W. Sew Everything Workshop by Diana Rupp, Teach Yourself Visually: Sewing by Debbie Colgrove  (honoring one of my learning styles in true educator fashion), Teach Yourself Visually: Quilting by Sonja Hakala and The Quilter's Ultimate Visual Guide from A-Z by Ellen Paul.  I may or may not have bought a few other titles when I went on my second stop, Joann Fabrics, for my Sewing Shopping Extravaganza.  (Hey... I anticipated needing a LOT of help here).  I spent about three hours wandering the rows, trying to figure out what on earth half of these items on the list I had dubiously compiled from reading S.E.W. Everything were.  Turns out it was a great weekend to go - almost everything I needed was on Super Sewing Sale, and although that meant there were approximately one million people there, it saved me money (in addition to the 15% teacher discount I was introduced to and was able to receive after much scuffling and finally, my brilliant move of showing my teacher website with the current year stated on my iphone).  It took me about two hours to get up the courage to ask a salesperson a question (thankfully, less people were still around at that point), and once I did, I was on my way.  A couple hundred dollars later, I was well-equipped and headed home to organize it all.

After the addition of a five-drawer cart and three wicker baskets underneath my desk, it all fit in my new sewing corner.  Satisfied with myself for a few days or so, I just looked at all my pretty new things, dreaming of what an excellent craftswoman I would become simply by possessing them.  It was much fun to own cool new things!  Although finally, I got up the courage to make good on this effort and Learn.To.Sew.  Derek was out of town, so I read through the entire S.E.W. Everything Workshop book, opened up my sewing machine manual, and set to work trying to thread the machine.

Although... it didn't make any sense.  I couldn't get the bobbin to come up and meet the thread.  I barely knew what a bobbin was!  My manual was unclear on one teeny step in the process and the book was too generic, so, after about an hour of going through the Nine Stages of I Can't Do This Frustration and a little positive self-talk ("You cannot quit or else your husband will make you take back all this pretty stuff."), I brilliantly decided to YouTube it.  10 videos and another hour later, I had a completely threaded machine! Yahoo!   Time to practice making some stitches and seeing if I can get this thing to go straight.  Ohhh... so that's how pockets and bags work!  See above.  (Yes, I properly labeled and documented these important historical artifacts and tucked them safely away in my new 5-drawer organizer.)

Exhausted but feeling accomplished, I headed to bed, convinced I was on my way to becoming a Sewing Superstar.  The next day, I tackled my first project: a pin-cushion! (the one rated the easiest - least amount of spools of thread - in the book).  How... practical!  And much cooler looking than that stupid tomato one they sell at the stores... I mean, what is up with that ugly thing?  I bought a blue and green tomato just to be different, but I still hates it. Anyway...  I cut the pieces entirely too big so it's perhaps double the size of what it should be, but I figure that just makes more more pin-holding and less finger-pinching.  The challenge became the part where I had to HAND SEW a part of it together.  Um... what?! I didn't sign up for this!  I have a nice, fancy machine to do that for me, right?!  Turns out that being in all those smart people enrichment classes and getting to forgo actual domestic classes such as sewing, cooking, etc., wasn't as cool in the long-term as I thought it was back then.  (But, hey... I can produce you a TV show with 1990s basic equipment and write interview questions for local non-celebrities like a rockstar - thank-you, EOP).  Anyway, Derek was back home by now, so I frantically asked for his help  (allegedly, his middle school didn't offer all those "smart people classes.").  He's sewn plenty of Kobe's toys back together, so this wasn't a big deal -- but he did make sure to mock me well for my inability to learn to hand sew.  (I have still since avoided this... hand sewing = the bane of my existence).   The finished product turned out pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself!  Hurrah -- I can pick cute fabric!  Unfortunately, I didn't have the right filling (used quilter's batting instead) so the pins can actually poke you from the underside if you push them far enough in, but... I just avoid that and we're all good. :)  But did you notice how CUTE it is?

/end first sewing adventures